Funeral for a Friend
December 22nd, 2011 | 
Author: The weekend of December 9th, I went to Colorado to attend the funeral of a friend. To say that Mark Crossley and I were friends would be like saying the Beatles were just a band. Sometimes, friendships take on a category that doesn’t have a description covered in the English language.
In the bio page of this website, I describe Mark as: A great friend of mine, Mark Crossley, played bass (in the band The Ghost of Fatty Arbuckle) and we seemed to get somewhat popular very fast. I mention Mark because if we were in ancient Rome, he would be the guy behind me saying “glory is fleeting.” Mark still plays his bass, reminds me when my head is getting too big, and has been there any time I needed a friend. We had a lot of fun in that band but more importantly it helped cement a friendship that is more important than any song I’ve ever played.
What I didn’t say was that I met Mark 26 years ago and he was also in the first band I put together. I stunk and we knew it. He was a few years older than me and I guess he saw some musical potential. He would offer advice not only when I needed it but would phrase it in a way that a young, egohead, stubborn rock star wannbe would listen (no small feat, just ask anyone who knew me back then). Mark was also influential in convincing me to quit my dead end job(s) and go to college. His daughter was the first newborn I ever held, he was the best man at my wedding and he was there when my daughter was born. Again I ask how do you describe a friendship like that?
I’ve been having a difficult time trying to narrow down the key things I would like to pass on about my friend, but here’s a few:
- Don’t waste time, squeeze the most of every second you have. Mark made it to 53 but he lived a lot more than that.
- Study things and analyze ways you can be a part of your country and the world around you. Just because the media says it, that doesn’t make it so. If Mark couldn’t find a niche…he made one.
- Surround yourself with fun and interesting people. I know Mark had a bunch of quirky, “think outside of the box” friends (and family) and I’m soooo glad I got to meet many of them.
- Tell those you care about that you love them and tell them often. His “I love you man” calls used to make me uncomfortable but now they are a cherished memory.
Mark Crossley – April 8, 1958 – December 4, 2011
I posted a few pictures of us taken back in the day. Go to the pics tab and check em out.
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Honoring Some Veterans
In a few weeks a unique calendar event will take place….11-11-11. I’m sure that really means something to people who put a lot of focus on numbers and I’ll think its cool when I see or write the date on some earth changing document that day. Right now I’m thinking that the coolest thing about all those 1’s is that they fall on a day I hold in high regard…Veterans Day.
I’m ashamed to confess my reverence for this day has only been with me about nine or so years. It took a combination of two things: 9-11 and a conversation with a Gulf War veteran. After 9-11 I found myself renewed with a sense of patriotism. I didn’t want this feeling to be temporary so I started looking for ways to give back a little to my/our country. One evening I was talking to a friend that served in the Desert Storm and we discussed his military service. As the conversation went on, he told me he would like to see more recognition for Gulf War Vets. My mind was racing on what grand show of appreciation would be suitable for someone risking life and limb for our country. I couldn’t think of anything so I finally asked him what he thought would be appropriate. His answer was so simple and direct it floored me. He said “A card on Veterans Day would be nice.”
Since this is a music site, I guess I should get around to connecting veterans appreciation and music. Saturday, October 22nd my friend Dan Sokoloski and I played the second annual fall picnic for several patients/veterans at the Ft. Roots facility in North Little Rock. We had a great opportunity to share our musical skills with an audience I will never forget. As I played my mix of classic rock and assorted tunes I looked out at the faces of the people in front of me. I saw men that served in Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf, Kosovo and Afghanistan.
Normally as a musician with an ever so hungry ego, I live for loud screams and applause. At first I was a little taken back when that didn’t happen and had to remind myself I may have to look a little deeper to see if my efforts were being enjoyed. Many of the faces in front of me showed little emotion but once I figured out what to look for the answer was clear. As I plucked on my guitar and sang, I saw subtle changes in the eyes of some of these former servicemen. One gentleman sat slumped forward in his wheelchair and his expression changed as I sang the funnier lines to an old folk song. Then during a blues number Dan hit a succession of strong notes and the corners of this man’s mouth lifted just a little and his eyes showed that he was enjoying what he heard. I found out later he served in Korea AND Vietnam (wow and thanks).
I ask all of you to please take a moment on 11-11-11 and show someone who has served our country your thanks and support. A card, a beverage, or a simple thank you can do great things. Most Vets I know are usually shy about their service and many act a little embarrassed but I assure you it will be appreciated. One time a vet wrote me a thank you card for sending him a thank you card. He simply wrote, “Thanks for the card. However, this country has given me far more than I ever gave it.”
Thanks to all the people (big thanks to Robert and John) who put together a great picnic. It was a privilege and an honor playing some old tunes for some true American heroes.
Joey’s Birthday!!!
Hello All,
I’m working on a birthday party for my OLD friend Joey. Yep, I’ve sure known him for a LONG time. He’s told me to be sure to invite my entire mailing list. If you don’t receive gig notices from me, please go to the “Subscribe” tab on the top right of my homepage and fill out the appropriate information. Those of you on my list, stay turned to your source for email info and find out the time and place of the top secret event! I would love to make this one heck of party for a fan and good friend.
Lucky’s Sports Bar and Grill – Saturday July 16th
Hello All! We had so much fun at Smokey’s back in June we decided to add another date to our summer tour schedule! Mark your calendar for July 16th at Maumelle’s finest smoke free establishment….Lucky’s Sports Bar and Grill. I checked on all the important summer requirements: Cool Air Conditioning, Cold Beverages, Hot Food and Great Service! Starting time is a little earlier…See you at 8:27 ½.
Smokey is at it Again
I’ll be at Smokey’s on Friday, June 17th. If my musical talents aren’t enough for you, the burgers there are the BEST – not to mention great deals on hot wings. Don’t forget 8: 47 ½!!! Easy to find just go to: Maps.Yahoo.com
Some More Live Stuff Burning Love
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One more recording from a fun jam filled night. You may have been there!
Some Live Stuff Break Down
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Here’s some live stuff with me and a few friends. Hope you like!!!
Rock and Roll Never Forgets
I had a chance the other night to step out and go to a concert. Yep, sounds like nothing earth shattering for a musician to do but for me it was out of the ordinary. See, many years ago, I found concerts depressing because I wasn’t the one receiving all the rights, lights and benefits of the rock star on stage. Now that I’m a little bit older and a lot less bolder (hint of the performer), I found the experience extremely enjoyable.
Please allow me to share a few observations and keep in mind I’ve often said to friends “you try living with my brain.” That being said, my night listening to one of my favorite old time rockers, Bob Seger, went something like this:
It took several things coming together to get me to turn the page on my vow of concert abstinence but it seems the universe aligned in such a way that I couldn’t resist. I found out about the concert from an old high school buddy. This is a guy I haven’t seen in several years and we just recently started keeping in touch. In the process of reconnection, I directly, or indirectly, managed to play matchmaker between him and a coworker who found herself newly single for the first time in many years. They said they were going and asked if I wanted to tag along. My difficult brain first thought of many reasons this would be running against the wind. I would be a third wheel, I don’t want to watch a new couple practice night moves during every slow song, and what if this was the night Verizon Arena would collapse as predicted way back when they first built the thing. After many reassurances that my presence would not interrupt their trip down the road to romance, I decided to go.
Tickets
My high school friend decided he would pick up the tickets. Win-win: he looks good for his girlfriend and I don’t have to wait in line. Much to our surprise, this was done online and he received one piece of paper stating show up at the door with photo ID and credit card number. Wow – so much for having a ticket stub to place in my collection. I thought it might look good next to my Peter Frampton at Barton Coliseum stub but I guess modern technology kept that from happening. Nonetheless, the process made me feel like a number. I also felt very antiquated paying him back for my ticket using cash instead of some digital way of settling my debt.
Getting to the Show
We figured it may be a good idea to have someone drop us off rather than pay for parking. My wife, who is not a Bob Seger fan, kindly volunteered (sorry Bob, nothing against you, but being married to a musician is enough for her). Now when I was a kid, I was elated the first time I could drive myself to a concert and was not one of those embarrassed few waiting for their parents to pick them up. It’s funny how things go full circle. We actually agreed it would be a good idea to be dropped off and picked up. In this case, some things are still the same.
The Crowd
I would once again like to share some of my amazing brain observations concerning my fellow concert-goers. Concerts have really changed since the old days. My first observation was, hmm how can I say it, the age of the people in the audience. I will not deny I’m a middle aged rock star wannabe but I was taken back by the number of people that, well let’s say were capable of remembering a few more presidents than I could. Since this is a PG rated site I will not go into any detail of what an arena bathroom full of middle-aged guys trying to use the restroom in a hurry looked like. Some things just can’t be rushed. So picture a line of beautiful loser(s) doing their best with what father time has provided.
Good Show Bob
One of the things that motivated me to go to this show was all the great memories connected to old Bob Seger tunes and yes I relived many good times in my head as the Silver Bullet band cranked out hit after hit. I was a traveling man alright – songs brought back images of friends and experiences long forgotten. When Mr. Seger introduced the Silver Bullet Band, I learned that two members were from one of my favorite bands from my youth. Drummer Don Brewer and keyboardist Craig Frost were both members of Grand Funk Railroad. The crowd screamed for an encore and got it. When the band left the stage the second time, my friends and I tried to figure out what songs they had left to play. The lights were still out so we figured we’d yell and cheer like everyone else for a second encore. Then in true guy fashion, my high school friend and I had a brief contest to see who could scream the loudest and longest. I hope this action didn’t indirectly stifle his budding relationship because I did see his date (my coworker) rolling her eyes. After the show we walked to our pick up point and waited like kids at the bus stop. We didn’t talk much during the walk because it was pouring down rain (good thing my obstinate brain didn’t think about tornado season in advance because that could have been the ultimate deal breaker). While waiting for our ride home, we discussed what a great show it was and how all the trouble to get there was worth it.
Whoever came up with the name Silver Bullet band was really thinking. The name had it’s meaning the 60’s and another now. Many of the silver haired musicians showed a crowed of different ages how to rock and have a GREAT time. I went to bed around 12:30 thinking “man that was fun.” I woke up at 5:30 AM (yes some of us musicians have day jobs) thinking “man I feel old. Thanks Bob Seger for a night I will hold in my memory for a while. You nailed it with “Rock and Roll Never Forgets!!”
Mailing List Invited!!
Well gang I know it’s been awhile but I’m still here and still playing. I have a private party coming up on February 19th and everyone on my mailing list is invited. SO, stay turned to your source for email info and find out the time and place of the top secret event!
What a GREAT Crowd!
Once again a fun time was had by all at Thirst N’ Howl!! Thank you to the many friends that showed up to help celebrate the holidays. It was a pleasure to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and perform some of our Christmas favorites (when else can I play Mr. Grinch?). I’ve NEVER had as much fun playing my song, Christmas Time is Here.
Marile: You make being a HooDoo Goddess look easy. Your violin and recording work were superb!
Dan: Thank you for your time on stage and your work on the recording.
